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VIRUSES


BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES:

CLINTON VIRUS Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

VIAGRA VIRUS Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

LEWINSKY VIRUS Sucks all the memory out of your computer, e-mails everyone about what it did.

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS Deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS Disks can no longer be inserted.

TITANIC VIRUS (A strain of the Lewinsky Virus) Your whole computer goes down (but I think "we go on").

DISNEY VIRUS Everything in your computer goes Goofy :}.

PROZAC VIRUS Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

JOEY BUTTAFUCO VIRUS Only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAACK.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows



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