- A Ride Through Indianhead Acres -
| Guest |
Wednesday, July 6, 2005 at 2:46 PM |
- A Ride Through Indianhead Acres -
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I never dreamed slowly cruising on my Valkyrie motorcycle
through a residential neighborhood in Tallahassee could be so
incredibly dangerous! Little did I suspect.
I was on Wahalaw Nene - a very nice neighborhood with perfect
lawns and slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown
furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop
immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have
been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car.
I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it - it was that lose.
I hate to run over animals, and I really hate it on a
motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely
had time to brace for the impact.
Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels, I discovered, can take
care of themselves! Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped
to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing my
oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady
eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he
screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel
for, "Bonzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, biscuit eating,
heathen scum!"
The leap was nothing short of spectacular. as he shot straight
up, flew over my windshield, and impacted me squarely in the
chest.
Instantly, he set upon me. If I did not know better, I would
have sworn he brought 20 of his little buddies along for the
attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a
frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light t-shirt,
summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for
concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!
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Picture a large man on a huge blue, cream and chrome cruiser,
dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves, puttering at
maybe 25 mph down a quiet residential street, and in the fight
of his life with a squirrel. And losing... I grabbed for him
with my left hand.
After a few misses, I finally managed to snag his tail. With
all my strength, I flung the evil rodent off to the left of the
bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the
throw. That should have done it. The matter should have ended
right there. It really should have.
The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept
yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed
home. No one would have been the wiser.
But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an
ordinary P. O.'ed squirrel. This was an Evil Mutant Attack
Squirrel of Death!
Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little
hands and, with the force of the throw, around and with a thump
and an amazing impact, he landed squarely on my back and resumed
his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He
also managed to take my left glove with him!
The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His
attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was
startled to say the least.
The combination of the force of the throw, only having one
hand, ( the throttle hand ), on the handlebars, and my jerking
back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and
into the throttle. A earthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie
can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is
made for, and she is very, very good
| Guest |
Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 12:36 AM |
i dont get it.
| Guest |
Sunday, January 28, 2007 at 10:04 PM |
wow...lots of not funnyness here
