Ever wonder why the chicken crossed the road?
| notsoblondeanymore |
Thursday, January 22, 2004 at 6:43 AM |
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
ARTHUR ANDERSEN: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. ARTHUR ANDERSEN, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. ARTHUR ANDERSEN convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. ARTHUR ADERSEN helped the chicken change to become more successful.
BILL CLINTON: That depends on what your definition of "did" is.
BILL GATES: I have just released e-chicken Millennium Edition, which will not only cross roads but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book and internet explorer is an inextricable part of e-chicken.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Did he cross it on a Snoad? The red-eyed yellow-bellied Snoad and the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
FOX MULDER: You say you saw it cross the road with your own eyes. Did you actually see it cross the road? Or did you suddenly notice that it had appeared on the other side? You think you saw it cross the road, but that's an illusion. How many more chickens have to cross over before you believe it?
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. Do you want to cross the road? Do you see your mother crossing the road?
GEORGE BUSH JR. I don't know, but I'll tell you this: That chicken may run, but it can't hide. God Bless America.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. In my day, we all crossed the road, uphill, barefoot, in the snow and we appreciated it.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to "the
