Rules
| Curtis |
Tuesday, July 25, 2006 at 11:08 PM |
None really, ask anything you like ... just be sure to phrase your response in the form of a question. (And remember, anything can happen in Final Jeopardy)
| Guest |
Tuesday, August 1, 2006 at 12:58 PM |
why is the sky blue ?
| Guest |
Wednesday, August 2, 2006 at 12:32 AM |
What governs a successful society
| Curtis |
Thursday, August 3, 2006 at 12:37 AM |
why is the sky blue ?
Refraction
What governs a successful society
I'll let you know as soon as I find one...
| Guest |
Thursday, August 3, 2006 at 1:15 PM |
Why do men always assume we want to cuddle?
| Curtis |
Thursday, August 3, 2006 at 5:31 PM |
That's a risk-management issue. As with any risk-management issue, we must factor the probability of a wrong assumption with the potential consequences of that wrong assumption.
Simply put, if we assume you want to cuddle, and you don't, then hey, no harm - no foul. (And we probably get extra points for being thoughtful.)
But... if we assume you don't, and you do, then we're screwed. We'll be shut out for the next six weeks, or six months, or whatever the penalty period is in your particular relationship.
Hey, that's a risk we're just not willing to take.
(And yes, that really is how our minds work.)
| Guest |
Wednesday, August 9, 2006 at 4:24 PM |
Why is it that people assume that if a woman has very large breasts (I have natural DD), she must be stupid?
| Curtis |
Wednesday, August 9, 2006 at 10:52 PM |
Hollywood.
Actually, the dumb buxom bombshell is a long-standing entertainment tradition that goes back at least to Vaudeville comedy, and probably further. Much like the comedy tradition of men in drag. (I have no explanation for that, however.)
In any case, the next time you are treated condescendingly by a man fixated on your breasts, just realize that he is probably a closet cross-dresser, or at least secretly longs to be. Then picture him in a poofy pink sweater and a mini skirt. With dangly earrings and bad makeup.
| Guest |
Friday, August 11, 2006 at 8:45 AM |
Buzzom , isn't it like buzz off bozzo?
| Guest |
Friday, August 11, 2006 at 8:47 AM |
Why did Porky pig pigged Porky ?
| Guest |
Friday, August 11, 2006 at 8:48 AM |
The sky is only the color you look at it .
Other wise it 'll be some thing a litle racist.
| Guest |
Friday, August 11, 2006 at 8:50 AM |
Could it be that, since I was a "bottle baby", I've been trying to make up for it all my life? I, for one, have never believed that there was/is any connection between large breasts and intelligence. I am, however, transfixed by the sight of large, unfettered breasts and cannot help but stare. I simply love 'em, and only hope I don't drool.
| Curtis |
Friday, August 11, 2006 at 9:52 AM |
Buzzom , isn't it like buzz off bozzo?
Why did Porky pig pigged Porky ?
You should stop huffing paint now, before you do too much irreversible damage.
Could it be that, since I was a "bottle baby", I've been trying to make up for it all my life?
Yes.
| Guest |
Monday, August 14, 2006 at 12:42 PM |
How do you tell that psycho girlfriend (we've all had one..or more) that you dont want to see her anymore without loosing body parts (you kno wthe one I am referring to)?
| Curtis |
Monday, August 14, 2006 at 8:38 PM |
Long Distance
| Curtis |
Monday, August 14, 2006 at 9:26 PM |
Okay, true story... I once had the "psycho girlfriend", and I wanted to break up with her. I had a hunch that she was so self-possessed that if I were to shave off my mustache she wouldn't notice. (Hated to do that, but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.) So I did. Sure enough, she did not notice. I even gave her plenty of time, just to make sure.
After sufficient time of failing to notice this major alteration in my appearance, I turned it around on her. I went psuedo-psycho on her, told her I couldn't believe she didn't care enough about me to even notice. I told her we were through, I just couldn't be with someone so selfish and uncaring. That was it, it was over. She tried apologizing, but I would have none of it.
It almost didn't take, even though we were "officially" broken up, she started coming around again after a few days. So I started dating her best friend. (That did the trick.)
| Curtis |
Monday, August 14, 2006 at 9:28 PM |
Just for the record... I would've dated the friend anyway -- she was cute. And seriously less psycho. At least at first anyway...
| El Mafioso |
Friday, August 18, 2006 at 5:54 PM |
Why do I have to wait for my time to die?
| Curtis |
Saturday, August 19, 2006 at 12:36 PM |
You don't. Although it is recommended.
Here's a suggestion -- try to find something useful to do while you are waiting. (work on a crossword puzzle, balance your checkbook, find a cure for cancer, etc.)
| Guest |
Monday, August 21, 2006 at 10:15 AM |
Why is it that when you ask a woman "what's wrong?", she inevitably responds with, "you know"?? If we knew we wouldn't be asking (or don't want to get in trouble for something they don't know about.), so why don't they just tell us and get it over with?
| Guest |
Monday, August 21, 2006 at 10:17 AM |
What do you do if your soon to be mother in law is trying her best to get you in the sack?? (Did I mention she is HOT...Looks alot like Rachel Hunter..)
| Curtis |
Monday, August 21, 2006 at 10:55 PM |
Why is it that when you ask a woman "what's wrong?", she inevitably responds with, "you know"?
Why do killer whales toss seals in the air repeatedly before they eat them? Why does my cat pull the legs off crickets one by one, until they stop moving? As soon as you say "what's wrong", you have triggered a very specific behavior. You have begun playing a, well, let's call it a "game", for lack of a better word -- one you have little hope of winning. Most women are very good at this game. Most men don't realize what is happening until it is far too late.
Here's a hint. Take a guess at what might possibly be wrong, and act on it. Chances are, you will be nowhere close, but you might get points for effort.
What do you do if your soon to be mother in law is trying her best to get you in the sack?
Doesn't really matter. No matter what you do, you're screwed. There is no possible way you come out of this without someone being seriously pissed off. I hope you're prepared for a lifetime of "issues" with the new women in your family. (Seriously, though - good luck with that.)
| Curtis |
Monday, August 21, 2006 at 10:56 PM |
It occurs to me, as evidenced by the two previous questions, that men (myself included) are frequently confused by the behavior of the women around them.
In nature, they have a word for the animals that are frequently confused by the behavior of the other animals around them. The word is "lunch".
| Guest |
Tuesday, August 22, 2006 at 3:01 PM |
Why do men assume if you are single with a child that you must be looking for a "new" father for that child? Why cant they just understand that sometimes we need to get ours too?
| Curtis |
Wednesday, August 23, 2006 at 1:14 AM |
Natural Selection. Men are deeply ingrained to see their role as that of "protector". This is not just cultural condtioning, it is an evolutionary bias. Males that are more successful as a protector are more likely to pass their genes on to the next generation.
(Alternate answer for the state of Kansas: It's because God created man with a deeply ingrained belief in the traditional "nuclear" family, according to his glorious plan.)
Whichever, it works out the same either way.
| Guest |
Friday, August 25, 2006 at 11:51 AM |
How can we convince our kids that we have done everything they are attempting to get away with without sounding like over the hill jerks and revealing what we really did do that we dont want them to know we actually did (like the time I got really tipsy and thought 5 altoids would cover up the smell of vodka...ps it doesnt work!!) ? (ie- I had to walk 2 miles through 3 feet of snow just to get to my bus stop....)
| Guest |
Friday, August 25, 2006 at 11:52 AM |
What idiot first said "size doesn't matter? ( I know the answer, I just want to see if you do.)
| Curtis |
Saturday, August 26, 2006 at 1:47 AM |
How can we convince our kids that we have done everything they...
Wait about 20 years, then give it a try.
What idiot first said "size doesn't matter"?
Adam. (Hey, it got cold at night there in the garden.)
| Guest |
Sunday, August 27, 2006 at 2:05 PM |
why is this here?
| Curtis |
Monday, August 28, 2006 at 2:38 AM |
That's a very existential question. Why are any of us here, really? I mean, why is anything here? Why is the universe here? That's the great mystery of the universe, isn't it -- not what it is, but why it is.
| Guest |
Wednesday, August 30, 2006 at 9:14 AM |
If there are times where good is bad and bad is good, what is mediocre?
| Curtis |
Wednesday, August 30, 2006 at 10:58 PM |
the last three seasons of "Friends"
| Guest |
Monday, September 25, 2006 at 12:41 PM |
Why is it that when a man sleeps with alot of women, he is a stud? A manly man?
But, if a woman does it, she is a ho?
| Guest |
Monday, September 25, 2006 at 12:41 PM |
Ginger or Maryann?
| Guest |
Monday, September 25, 2006 at 12:43 PM |
If you were trapped on a deserted island, and were to be allowed only ONE item, what would it be?
| Curtis |
Monday, September 25, 2006 at 11:16 PM |
Why is it that when a man sleeps with alot of women...
Evolutionary gender bias.
The male strategy for passing his genes on to the next generation is quantity, because his investment in time and resources can be very minimal.
The female strategy is quality, because her investment is necessarily much larger.
So, if a man sleeps with many women, there is this deep primordial instinct that tells us he is good at his strategy, where if a woman sleeps with many men, that same instinct tells us she is following her strategy very poorly.
It works the other way as well --- if a women is monogamous, nurturing, caring, sensitive, etc., she is seen a good wife and mother, wholesome, virtuous. If a man exhibits the same traits, he is seen as "whipped", as a sissy, not a "real man".
Same reason, she is following her strategy successfully, he is following his strategy poorly.
Primordial instincts die hard.
| Curtis |
Monday, September 25, 2006 at 11:16 PM |
Ginger or Maryann?
Maryann. Definitely.
| Curtis |
Monday, September 25, 2006 at 11:20 PM |
If you were trapped on a deserted island, and were to be allowed only ONE item, what would it be?
Maryann.
| Guest |
Wednesday, September 27, 2006 at 1:05 PM |
Phyllis Diller or Liza Minelli? (Today, not 20-30-40 years ago)
| Curtis |
Wednesday, September 27, 2006 at 10:26 PM |
Neither.
(Okay. Liza.... Maybe. But I'd have to be drunk, and she'd have to be really freaky.)
| Guest |
Thursday, September 28, 2006 at 8:56 AM |
Cant we all just get along?
| Curtis |
Thursday, September 28, 2006 at 4:02 PM |
Apparently not.
| Guest |
Monday, October 2, 2006 at 10:41 AM |
(Not to seem anti-semetic but...) Why do the Jews get ours(Christian) and their holidays off, but we(Christians) have to work on theirs?
| Curtis |
Monday, October 2, 2006 at 11:54 PM |
You don't HAVE to work on their holidays. You could always convert.
Or you could go to work for a company with predominantly Jewish ownership/management. Or move to a predominantly Jewish part of the world. (Israel, Miami Beach, etc.) Then you would get "their" days off and "your" days off without the spiritual discomfort of renouncing your faith.
Or if your just looking for time off, you could consider Europe, where work-weeks are 35 hours and everyone gets at least four weeks vacation. (That's not likely to ever happen in the US, not in our lifetimes anyway, for a variety of social and economic reasons.)
But I digress... Back to holidays. It's like this: The people who make the rules also get to set the holidays. That's one of the perks of being in charge. Everyone gets the "official" days off. If the people in charge are also reasonably enlightened, they will also allow you to take your own days off too.
As an example, I once worked for a company that had Yom Kippur as a company holiday. Yet they had no problem if people took Good Friday off, even though it was not a company holiday.
The fact that you only get the standard days off, and not any extra special days of your own, well, that's just a natural result of being a part of the majority in a society that values religious freedom (as a founding principal even).
The only way to change that is to reposition yourself culturally and/or geographically so that you become a part of a minority.
(Anyhow, the more interesting question is: Why do Christians observe the Christian holidays that they do?)
| Guest |
Monday, October 9, 2006 at 9:16 AM |
Do you believe in past lives? If so, what time period do you think you were in and why?
| Curtis |
Monday, October 9, 2006 at 11:13 AM |
I generally do not believe in things I cannot prove. At the same time I do not dismiss the possibility of things that are inherently unprovable.
I have a strong sense that the things we can prove are only a very small subset of all the things that are. I also have a strong belief that the universe is a very weird place, so while I don't necessarily believe in past lives as a provable fact, I am certainly open to the possibility. I also have a very strong sense that I've "played this game before", if you know what I mean.
That said, if there are past lives, then at some point I was a sailor. I have a very strong affinity for ships and the sea. This feeling of affinity was particularly profound the first time I set foot on a ship in this life. I instinctively knew where everything was, what everything did, and how everything worked. I have no explanation for this affinity, but I feel it every time I am on the water. A past life spent at sea certainly makes sense to me.
I also wonder about this: There are times in my life when I've met people, and although I had never met them before, it felt like I had known them forever. I've also known a few people, in particular a few young people, who seem to have been "around the block a few times" themselves, and who have an accumulated knowledge and wisdom well beyond their years.
On the other hand, maybe it's just my imagination. : )
| Guest |
Monday, October 9, 2006 at 1:09 PM |
(Let me preface this by saying I DO NOT believe in beating a kid!!) Why is is that when we were kids, if we did something wrong, our parents smacked us or "got the belt" ( I am Italian, so we got the wooden spoon), but god forbid you even think about it now and you will be arrested? I am sorry, but am I the last person around that thinks kids deserve a good smack (NOT BEATING) if they do something wrong?
| Guest |
Wednesday, October 11, 2006 at 10:20 PM |
How to introduce sex to kids?
| Guest |
Thursday, October 12, 2006 at 5:36 PM |
Can a person really "change"?
| Curtis |
Friday, October 13, 2006 at 9:09 AM |
Why is is that when we were kids, if we did something wrong, our parents smacked us
No, you are not the last person that thinks kids deserve a good smack (not a beating, there IS a difference).
There are others. At least five others, including myself.
I fear we are outnumbered.
| Curtis |
Friday, October 13, 2006 at 9:19 AM |
How to introduce sex to kids?
Be honest. Answer their questions. Don't be embarrassed.
If they have questions when they are quite young, answer them (in a way they can understand). Don't say "I'll explain it to you when you are older". When they are older they will be too embarrassed to talk about it with you.
It is normal for kids to have some awareness of sex at a very young age -- there's no need to start out making them think that sex is something dirty or shameful. They will get plenty of that from the church later on.
| Curtis |
Friday, October 13, 2006 at 9:26 AM |
Can a person really "change"?
Only if the person really, really wants to.
And now to answer your "real" question: No, he's not going to change for you, and no, you can't change him. It doesn't matter how much you love him, and it doesn't matter how much he loves you. The only way he will ever change is a) for himself, not for anyone else, and b) because HE wants to change. If you are not totally happy with him the way he is right now, then leave. If you stay and try to change him all you will do is make the both of you miserable.
| Guest |
Monday, October 16, 2006 at 12:21 PM |
Do you believe there is other "meaningful" life in the universe? (I am not referring to bacteria or microorganisms)
| Curtis |
Monday, October 16, 2006 at 5:27 PM |
I expect there is. Seems like a tremendously colossal waste of space if there's not.
On the other hand, I seriously doubt we will ever meet them in our lifetime. Again, because of the tremendously colossal amount of space involved.
The Universe is a very, very big place. I mean, really really big. (See Douglas Adams for more on this.) But even more than that, it is a very, very weird place. The more we learn about it, the weirder it gets. (Just try understanding quantum mechanics, I dare ya. And that's not even the half of it.) So... anything's possible.
The problem with any discussion like this is that it involves two concepts that most people have great difficulty understanding: probability and large numbers. Which also explains why so many people play the lottery.
(I won't even get into the idea of how one might define "meaningful life", or what defines "consciousness" as a distinct and separate concept from organic "life".)
| Guest |
Thursday, October 19, 2006 at 8:44 AM |
Do you think that Hollywood is going overboard with the movies they make (being overly violent or sexual)?
| Guest |
Thursday, October 19, 2006 at 8:45 AM |
Do you eat beef or fish?
| Curtis |
Thursday, October 19, 2006 at 10:03 PM |
Do you think that Hollywood is going overboard with the movies they make (being overly violent or sexual)?
Hollywood always goes overboard, that's their job. But overly violent and sexual? Not really. It's actually pretty tame compared to what it could be. You ever see Clockwork Orange? Now that was seriously violent and sexual.
| Curtis |
Thursday, October 19, 2006 at 10:03 PM |
Do you eat beef or fish?
Yes.
| Guest |
Friday, October 20, 2006 at 8:50 AM |
Can a person really be happy?
| Guest |
Friday, October 20, 2006 at 8:53 AM |
Is religion a good thing?
| Guest |
Friday, October 20, 2006 at 8:54 AM |
When I was in high school the military had a program where you could write to a soldier who didnt have anyone back home to write to. I have been looking for a program like that with no luck. Any ideas or links I could use?
| Curtis |
Saturday, October 21, 2006 at 12:50 PM |
Can a person really be happy?
Yes. (If you are willing to take responibility for your own happiness.)
Is religion a good thing?
Without religion we would have no concept of "good", so there's that...
Religion is kind of a mixed bag. Religion has done a lot of good for a lot of people, no question. But it has also gotten a lot of people killed, tortured, enslaved, or subjugated; it has started a number of wars; and has been a general mind-f_ck for countless young, impressionable kids.
Religion, particularly organized religion, can be used for good, and it can be used for evil. Historically it has been used for both. When used for good, it can accomplish the amazing. When used for evil, it can create great devastation and destruction.
I guess I tend to view religion the same way I view most things -- as a tool. In and of itself it is neither good nor evil. It can be used with equal effectiveness for either, so it all depends on how you use it.
(Just don't point your religion at me.)
| Guest |
Tuesday, October 24, 2006 at 10:30 AM |
Do you think we will ever colonize the moon?
| Guest |
Tuesday, October 24, 2006 at 4:33 PM |
Yes. It's even remotely possible it could happen in our lifetime. We've already colonized low Earth orbit, the moon is not that much farther away. There is no real technical obstacle to doing this, only economic and political ones. Unfortunately, economic and political obstacles are much more difficult to overcome.
| Guest |
Thursday, October 26, 2006 at 12:16 PM |
Do you think pot should be legal?
| Guest |
Thursday, October 26, 2006 at 4:30 PM |
Do you believe in karma?
| Guest |
Thursday, October 26, 2006 at 4:34 PM |
Who is your ultimate fantasy?
| Curtis |
Thursday, October 26, 2006 at 8:55 PM |
Do you think pot should be legal?
Yes. (I personally have no use for it, but I believe most things should be legal. Attempts to legislate behavior are a poor substitute for personal responsibility and accountability, and tend to do more harm than good. See "prohibition" and "organized crime".)
Do you believe in karma?
Yes. (Most religions have this concept, even Christianity has that whole "you reap what you sow" thing.)
Who is your ultimate fantasy?
Come'on, what's every guys "ultimate fantasy"?
Aside from that one, I have many. Some are actually acheiveable, although admittedly most people would consider them unlikely and improbable. I don't call those "fantasies", I call those "plans".
If I had to pick one "ultimate" fantasy, I suppose it would involve living forever and traveling the Universe. I will settle for living long enough to travel in space.
| Guest |
Friday, October 27, 2006 at 12:44 PM |
Is it illegal to kill a very annoying co-worker? Isnt there some law that would allow it?
| Guest |
Monday, November 6, 2006 at 11:13 AM |
Why are they wasting so much time on Sadam? Making sure he gets a fair trial? De he give the people he tortured and killed a fair trial? Why dont they just deliver him to the families of those he killed and call it a day?
| Guest |
Monday, November 6, 2006 at 11:15 AM |
I keep my aprtment at a pretty constant 70 F. Why is it during the summer this temperature seems excesively hot and curing the winter it seems excessively cold? I mean, the comfort level should be the same, shouldn't it?
| Guest |
Monday, November 6, 2006 at 1:36 PM |
Why havent I hit lotto yet?
| Curtis |
Monday, November 6, 2006 at 8:52 PM |
Why are they wasting so much time on Sadam?
Because, right or wrong, that's just the way we do things in a civilized society, particularly one based on liberty and democracy. And we would like Iraq to develop such a society.
The Iraqis have to start somewhere. If they can provide a genocidal criminal like Saddam with a fair trial, chances are good they can do the same for the rest of their citizens. That's the thing about constitutional rights -- to be truly meaningful they have to apply equally to all, regardless of how distasteful a specific individual may be.
The right to a fair trial has to be afford to the most despicable criminals, otherwise there is no guarantee you will get a fair trial (should you ever need one).
Freedom of religion has to apply equally to all religions, not just the Judeo-Christian ones practiced by your founding fathers. Otherwise there is no guarantee your specific religious beliefs will be respected.
Freedom of speech has to apply to all speech, even if it is racist, sexist, or just plain stupid. Otherwise there is no guarantee that you can freely express your ideas.
Consider this. To do otherwise means that we have to put someone in charge of deciding who is worthy of a fair trial and who is not; of which religions are okay, and which are heretical; or what speech is acceptable and what speech is forbidden.
Sure, it's an easy decision when dealing with something like Saddam, or Nazis, or Scientology, or other extreme examples. But those extremes are rare. Would you want someone making that kind decision for the vast gray area in between the clearly good and the clearly bad? Would you want someone making that decision if your life or liberty were at stake?
I personally would not. I simply don't trust people to make those kind of decisions. So if that means Saddam gets a fair trial, then I'm okay with that.
| Curtis |
Monday, November 6, 2006 at 8:55 PM |
I keep my aprtment at a pretty constant 70 F. Why is it during the summer this temperature seems excesively hot and curing the winter it seems excessively cold? I mean, the comfort level should be the same, shouldn't it?
Assuming you have good insulation, then the comfort level would be the same all year round -- if you never went outside.
Your body wants a comfortable interior temperature that over-compensates for the uncomfortable temperature you experienced outside. In other words, if you are hot, you want to cool off; if you are cold, you want to warm up.
| Curtis |
Monday, November 6, 2006 at 11:24 PM |
Why havent I hit lotto yet?
Heh... Why haven't you been struck by lightning yet? (That's far more likely to happen to you than hitting the lottery.)
The first thing to understand about lotteries is that they work. The purpose of a lottery is to generate revenue for the government, without giving the appearance of being a tax. They work very well indeed.
They work because most people do not understand the two key things that make a lottery a lottery: probability and large numbers.
Consequently, very few people view them for what they really are: a tax on people who are far from being financially independent and who do not understand probability or large numbers.
So, if you want to contribute money to your state's operating budget, then by all means go play the lottery. If, however, you are looking for gambling as a way to strike it rich, try the slots. Or poker or blackjack. Or horses, dogs, or jai alai. The payoff percentage on each of these is far better than the lottery. (You're still likely to loose all your money, just statistically much less likely.)
There is one sure-fire way to win the lottery. Play all the possible number combinations at once. All 50 million of them. It's not necessarily cost effective, but you will win.
| Guest |
Tuesday, November 7, 2006 at 10:56 AM |
Why do people have a hissy when a woman dates a younger man but dont even flinch when the situation is reversed?
| Guest |
Tuesday, November 7, 2006 at 1:10 PM |
Other than this questions area, why is this site not updating? There havent been any new jokes posted in a while. There used to be new ones almost every day. What's up?
| Guest |
Friday, November 10, 2006 at 9:41 AM |
If I find decent jokes, would you rater me post them here for you, an alternate place or not at all?
(I dont want to be a bother or step on any toes.)
| Guest |
Wednesday, November 15, 2006 at 10:06 AM |
If RUDOLPH W. GIULIANI ran against Hillary Clinton for President, who do yo uthink would win? And IF Hillary did win, wouldnt that make Bill the first man?
| Guest |
Monday, November 20, 2006 at 5:30 PM |
So, out of curiousity, what do you think of the mental genius idea to let OJ write that book? And then try to make a tv special out of it?
| Guest |
Tuesday, November 21, 2006 at 12:21 PM |
Why are we the only country that has to pay taxes on lotto winnings?
| Guest |
Wednesday, November 22, 2006 at 3:28 PM |
Hey! Happy Gobble Gobble day!
| kustiki321 |
Wednesday, November 29, 2006 at 7:32 AM |
how do we post things on this site?
| Guest |
Wednesday, November 29, 2006 at 1:58 PM |
What is wrong with people today?
| Benjamin |
Tuesday, December 5, 2006 at 10:05 AM |
Why is talking about your problems with a professional deemed to be good for one's mental health?
| Guest |
Thursday, December 7, 2006 at 9:45 AM |
Finished your Christmas shopping yet? I just dont understand why sooooo many people procrastinate shopping for Xmas. (FYI- I am a single mom who is NOT rich with 2 boys.)
| Guest |
Monday, December 11, 2006 at 1:07 PM |
Why do men think that cramps dont really hurt and we are bieng babies?
| Curtis |
Monday, December 11, 2006 at 11:32 PM |
The same reason women think that getting kicked in the balls couldn't possibly hurt THAT bad, and we are just being babies.
Basically, whether its a uterus or testicles, if you don't have the equipment you have no real idea of the pain it can cause.
(Besides, our only meaningful experience with cramps is from gas.)
| Guest |
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 at 9:11 AM |
Why do people say "you really dont need to get me a gift for Christmas, my birthday (whatever)"? But then when you dont, they never let you forget it?
| Guest |
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 at 12:32 PM |
Why is it that your parents MUST always point out that you are finally starting to "sound like them"? (ie- when you are talking to your kids.) (It's at that point you realize that you are turning into your parents.)
| Guest |
Tuesday, December 19, 2006 at 2:16 PM |
Was Christmas designed specifically to suck every single last penny from my already tightened pocket?
| Guest |
Thursday, December 21, 2006 at 10:32 PM |
Why is the sky blue?
Not refraction. Refraction is the bending of light. The sky is blur because that is the only colour that pass through the atmosphere without being filtered out. Otherwise the sky would be white.
| Guest |
Wednesday, December 27, 2006 at 12:23 PM |
Why must men refer to giving birth as "popping one out"? TRUST ME. They do not just pop out!
| Guest |
Wednesday, December 27, 2006 at 9:50 PM |
It makes for a funny audio-visual image in our head. We like those. Unexpected funny sounds are the best, they always make us laugh. Why this is I don't know, except that maybe we watched way too much of the 3 Stooges when we were kids.
| Guest |
Wednesday, January 3, 2007 at 11:07 AM |
Why do people insist on re-gifting? Better yet re-gift a gift to me that I gave to them? My god at least keep track of who gave you the gift, right? ( I mean, I actually tell people that if they dont like something to tell me. That I kept receipts. I would rather someone get a gift they like, than have it in the closet for a year.)
| Guest |
Thursday, February 1, 2007 at 11:25 AM |
Why do they have brail menu's at drive through window's?
| Curtis |
Sunday, February 4, 2007 at 2:28 AM |
Just in case someone teaches their seeing-eye dog to drive.
I've personally never seen that (not counting ATM's) but if there is such a thing it's probably just an unfortunate over-cautious interpretation of the ADA.
| Guest |
Wednesday, February 7, 2007 at 9:56 AM |
How do you politely tell someone that they have overstayed their welcome on a visit? Would putting all their stuff on the front porch while they are out and changing the locks be a bit much?
| Curtis |
Thursday, February 8, 2007 at 10:35 PM |
Tough one. With most people all it takes is a simple "So, how long can you stay?" or a casual "So, when do you guys have to head back?"
At this point most reasonably intelligent people will pick a reasonably intelligent departure date, at which time they will be on their way. However, other people are not so bright. They will give you a date way out in the future, or even more likely, no date at all.
Here's the good news, the less bright they are, the harder it is to offend them. (Or more accurately, the less important it is to worry about offending them.) Just escalate gradually until you cut through their fog.
If they don't give you a date (or they give you a date that would likely result in an axe murder if they were to actually remain that long), no problem -- You give them a date.
For example... "Well, you guys are welcome to stay with us till Friday, but after that we have other plans." If they don't catch that polite, but unmistakable hint, then step it up a bit... "Seriously, we'd love to entertain you guys longer, but we've got a million things to do, and we won't get any of them done if we're having fun hanging out with you guys."
At this point, if they are especially dumb, they will either tell you to go ahead and don't mind them, or even worse they will offer to help.
Respond with a very firm "No, you guys are our guests, we wouldn't think of it." Make it clear that as good hosts, you could not possibly return to your normal life while they are your guests, and you simply must return to your normal life by the stated date.
That should work with most, but there are a few where even that doesn't work. Time for plan B, which is this: Start a fight with your spouse. Make it mean, loud, ugly, nasty. Throw things around. Breakable things. Use lots of swearing. Make it extremely uncomfortable for your guests, the more uncomfortable the better. For dramatic affect, apologize to them while ducking. Or for extra dramatic affect, take a flying object to the forehead. (Pick something light and/or breakable.)
This usually sends them running as quickly as they can pack. Once they start packing, you can transition from full-blown fight phase to the retreat to separate rooms and sulk phase.
One tip: Be sure to establish a code-word with your spouse beforehand -- just to make sure he or she doesn't mistake the mock fight for the real thing. (And for God's sake, don't hit any of those touchy subjects that will lead to a real fight after the guests have fled. You know what they are.)
If that doesn't work, start muttering and twitching, wander off to the garage, bang about a bit, then return with axe in hand and a crazed look in your eye...
| Curtis |
Thursday, February 8, 2007 at 10:56 PM |
Here's the ounce of prevention part of this: The best way to avoid having house guests stay too long is to make it uncomfortable for them.
Tip #1. If you've got a big comfy bed in the guest room, toss it out. Replace it with a sofa-sleeper, the kind with the metal bar that catches you right in the middle of the back no matter how you position yourself.
Tip #2. Don't keep food in the house. And don't take them out to eat after the first few nights. Trust me, if they get hungry they will eventually leave.
Tip #3. Learn to play chess. If they don't play, or if they don't play well, start playing non-stop against your significant other. Insist that the TV and stereo be turned off while you play, so you can concentrate. There is nothing more mind-numbingly boring than watching someone else chess.
Tip #4. Learn where you circuit breaker panel is. Shut off the hot water heater before your guests arrive, then when they apologize that the hot water is on the fritz, and all the plumbers in town are backed up for the next two weeks.
It's simple human nature. Humans will avoid things that are painful. If you want humans to stop doing something, just make it uncomfortable enough and they will stop.
| Guest |
Tuesday, May 1, 2007 at 5:07 PM |
Why do bosses take credit for the work YOU did to the higher bosses? Is there a diplomatic way to let the higher ups know you did it and not your boss?
| Guest |
Wednesday, May 9, 2007 at 10:07 AM |
Why does society look at a single woman who wants a child, but not the man like she is crazy? Dont get me wrong, I like men, not women, but I dont need the man, just his "donation".
| Guest |
Thursday, May 17, 2007 at 10:27 AM |
Why is it that everytime I get my son a complete new video game system a new one comes out? And then they cant play yhe old one cause "all the kids have the new one mom".
| Guest |
Tuesday, May 22, 2007 at 10:23 AM |
Why is it that there is always a psycho parent at my kids' b-ball game? This is little league people, not MLB. I mean what kind of message are the parents sending to the kids if they beat the sh*t out of an ump for making a bad call? Bottom line, its a game people! Lighten up!
| Guest |
Friday, June 1, 2007 at 4:38 PM |
Is it me, or does society spend too much time obsessing with certain disaster celebrities (ie - Paris & Lindsay)?
| Guest |
Wednesday, August 22, 2007 at 5:09 PM |
Did you ever notice that the more you like something, the more expensive it is?
| Curtis |
Wednesday, August 22, 2007 at 11:17 PM |
Heh, only all my life...
| Guest |
Friday, September 28, 2007 at 3:38 PM |
So first I have to give you a slight bit of backround. Yesterday my boss yelled at me in front of people saying I didnt follow through on a particular work issue and to go do it right now. So I went into my emails and saw that I did email him his answer (he likes them in writing) more than 2 weeks ago and re-sent it to him. At this point I was waiting for an apology. It never came. When he passed me again I thought, ok here it comes. All he said was that he saw my email and he would figure something out. (His version of an apology, if you know the type) Question is: Why will your boss yell at you so others hear, but when they realize they are wrong, the "apology" is under their breath?
| Guest |
Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 5:20 PM |
Holy moly! What is going on? I need a Nintendo Wii. I get the supply and demand concept, but DAMN!! Either you get real lucky and are at a store when they are putting them on a shelf OR go on EBAY and pay 700 bucks when they are only worth 250. And of course it has to be the gift my kid would die for. Ya know?
| Guest |
Friday, January 18, 2008 at 4:38 PM |
Why do people insist on giving a child a birthday AND Christmas gift as one in the same? As an adult it would be no big deal, who cares. But dont people realize that kids do care? As for that matter, what would be the cutoff when people do that? My kid's birthday is February 2. He still has people giving him 1 birthday AND Christmas present. Dont get me wrong, I have some funds. Its not about that. He gets plenty of gifts from me for both occasions and doesnt really "want" for anything. However, as a kid he gets dissappointed when others do that.
| Guest |
Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 2:33 PM |
who's Curtis ????
| Guest |
Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 3:49 PM |
Curtis = The man.....
You should know this by now buddy....
| alandycandy |
Friday, April 25, 2008 at 2:17 PM |
So, my question comes with a bit of a back story. My man and i have been completely involved with each other for 5 years and counting, but lately we have been encountering a problem. Well, our friends and family to put it simply. We are not going to get married anytime soon. When we do we will elope or have a very quiet ceremony so that we may take our cash and spend a month in Belize. Our friends hate our idea, and my family thinks we are "living in sin". WE like the way we live and would like nothing better than to tell everyone to hell; however, some of thier comments have been getting to me. My mother comments on a regular basis that i must be retarded, and that i am basically "prostituting myself" ( her words). Considering that both of my parents are on thier third spouses anyhow; I do not think they are the ideal relationship advisors. Is my relationship any less because we are not married? And should i really feel so scared about marriage in the first place? Also, most women want to get married, don't they? Am i normal?
| Curtis |
Saturday, April 26, 2008 at 5:08 PM |
Yes, you are normal.
It's a matter of priorities. The single most important thing in your life right now is you and your relationship with your man (assuming you don't have kids yet -- when you do, they will be the most important thing in your life).
Everything else comes second to that, including your parents, friends, etc. If you are happy with your relationship, with or without a marriage certificate, that's all that counts. It's your life -- live it the way that works best for you.
There is no "right" answer to how to run a relationship. What's right for someone else may not be right for you, and vice versa. There's nothing magical about a piece of paper. It's not about that. It's about whether you love, trust, and respect each other. It's about whether you want to spend the rest of your life together. It's about whether you are totally committed to each other above all else. Performing a ceremony may be an outward symbol of that, but it doesn't make it happen. Only you and your man can make that real. (It sounds like you already have.)
As far as eloping and spending a month in Belize, I think that's a FANTASTIC idea. Why spend money on a ceremony when you can spend it living? Belize is beautiful, parts of it anyway, but it could be anywhere, the point is it's you and him together, somewhere exotic on an adventure. I say go for it, you won't regret it.
You know, deep in your heart, what your should do. Follow your heart. And don't let anyone, no matter who it is, talk you out of it.
Good luck to you.
| Guest |
Monday, July 6, 2009 at 1:35 PM |
Am I the only person who is sick and tired of hearing Michael Jackson stories?
Why is it then when a person dies, suddenly all the bad they did is forgotten and they are made out to be saints?
| Guest |
Tuesday, July 7, 2009 at 1:04 PM |
When will it be my turn to hit lotto? (Powerball would be nice, but I'm not greedy.)
| Curtis |
Thursday, July 9, 2009 at 5:28 PM |
Never. There is no such thing as your "turn". You are more likely to be struck by lightning. Twice.
Lotteries are so popular because they involve two things that most people have a very poor understanding of: probability and large numbers.
Here's a simple test: Let's say for sake of argument that there is a very simple lottery, played by only 100 people, and guaranteed to pay one and only one winner every time. If you play once your odds of winning are 1 in 100. If you play twice your odds are 1 in 50, and so on.
Now, lets suppose you've played this lottery 99 times, and lost every single time. But you are willing to try again. What are the odds that you will win the 100th time you play. Think about it carefully. Got your answer?
Okay. If you answered anything other than 1 in 100, then you do not understand probability, and you should not play the lottery.
| Guest |
Monday, July 20, 2009 at 4:33 PM |
What is it that men really want?
| Guest |
Monday, November 16, 2009 at 10:43 AM |
I have a good one for ya that I just need some impartial input on.
I'm 34 & one of my best friends is 42. He has a 24 year old son who is now hitting on me. Logic says nooo & my friend might get upset. Just to state the obvious, yes he is good looking and I have pondered the thought. FYI - NO I never dated in any capacity the father.
Question: Would a guy get upset that a female friend went cougar on his adult son? (as opposed to the death sentence that would be imposed if I was a male & his son was a daughter)
| Guest |
Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 10:30 AM |
You're right. I did pretty much figure the answer already. And I came to pretty much the same conclusion that you did. I didn't think it would go over that well either.
| Guest |
Thursday, June 3, 2010 at 1:59 PM |
Will a man ever really "grow up"?
| Guest |
Thursday, December 23, 2010 at 1:41 PM |
Merry ho ho....
| Guest |
Wednesday, May 16, 2018 at 10:45 AM |
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